youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
