Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
