does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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