i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
