I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
