Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
