Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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