he thought i was a dude.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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