I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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