So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize