Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
