Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
