I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
