Christians are straight up FREAKS
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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