Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Houston, we have a squirter
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
