Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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