I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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