There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
