Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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