dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i now understand why vodka
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize