Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize