Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
