Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head