I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She announced her abortion via fbk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.