Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan