her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.