i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.