i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!