What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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