Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When are your genitals available?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
