Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
