Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just pee around me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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