You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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