I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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