i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
