Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
