How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
