Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize