I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
They have beer where we have blood.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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