I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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