I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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