He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
