im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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