Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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