when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
