Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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