don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize