He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
