1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize