I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
