Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
