Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
