Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
