Pants 0. Shit 1.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
