She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize