Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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