he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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