Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
