Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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