IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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