I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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