saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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