Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
