It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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