There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
